(Don’t worry. This isn’t about parenthood. Or childhood. Or anything of the sort. )

I’ve just recently started watching the series “Parenthood”…as prompted by my dear sister. I’m only on Season 1, Episode 2, so don’t judge…yet. (And just so you know, I’m hooked already!)

I just finished watching this specific episode (S1E2) and there was a conversation/interchange/dialogue between a married couple of the main characters and a secondary character.

This couple has just found out that their young son has been diagnosed with Asperger’s…a form of autism.

Here is the exchange between the parents and the doctor.

———
Dr. tells parents: “Start with more of a big picture conversation. This isn’t a prison sentence…”
Dad: “So how long is this gonna take?”
Dr.: “How long will what take?”
Dad: “Just to get him through this. Get him back on track.”
Dr.: “Unfortunately there is no cure for asperger’s. It is a syndrome that he will always have.”
Mom: “So what is it we’re supposed to do for him?”
Dr.: “You will help to uncover [his gifts]. You figure out how he learns. You get as much support for [him] as possible. Research shows that the greatest barometer of success for children with Asperger’s is their parents’ involvement.”
Dad: “So how?”
Dr.: “The first step isn’t to wrench Max out of his comfort zone. The first step is to join Max where he is. And then when he’s ready, you walk him into the real world.”
———

I’ve always asked God to let me see Him in the world…in the stories of tv shows, movies, books…in the various situations that present themselves…in the circumstance and happenstance and nitty-gritty of everyday life as we know it. And as I was watching this specific scene, God let me see Him…to see His kingdom. He taught me a very important lesson.

As you see in the dialogue between parents and doctor, there’s something very specific that needs to happen in that situation. Those parents need to realize that there’s nothing that they can do to change the fact that their one and only son is dealing with a condition that will change the way he sees and lives in and interacts with the world. And the only way that the parents can manifest any progress into making their son capable of living in this land that is different than he is, they must meet him where he is, instead of trying to make him like they are.

Here is the spiritual picture I see here.

Those of us who have accepted Christ as our Forgiver and Leader feel like we have definitely reached the pinnacle of our spiritual lives. We have arrived. We get it. No, we’re not perfect, but we know the basics of what Jesus asks/commands us to do with our lives while we are still occupying this big, blue ball.

And now and then (and hopefully more often that not…cuz Jesus said it should be so…) we find ourselves in the company and the midst of those that we don’t understand and that don’t understand us…maybe people who haven’t crossed that spirit-life line. They’re on a completely different wavelength. We simply just don’t get each other. They’re operating on a radically different operating system than we are. Much like the parents of an Asperger’s child.

So the advice of the dr. to the parents is true for us as well.

We will meet people in our lives that are so difficult to understand, so hard to figure out…as if they’re living in a completely different world than we are. Well, guess what? They are!

But that doesn’t mean we try to “fix” them and make it all right. It doesn’t mean that we run away scared from who they are. It doesn’t mean that we throw up our hands and proclaim that we have no idea how to meet them where they are.

It means we run toward them…arms open wide…with a heart overflowing with pure love that wants to meet them right where they are.

Just as a parent, caregiver, God-parent or whatever, meets that child with Asperger’s syndrome, or autism, or bi-polar, or rotten attitude, or whatever else that makes them less than approachable, we need to take the good doctor’s advice: “Join them where they are until they’re ready to walk into the real world.”

MAN!!! This hit me close to home.

So often, many of us tend to steer clear of those that are different than we are, especially in the area of mental health. We feel because they are “different” than we are, we need to keep a wide berth between them and us. But this Dr….and indeed our own Savior, Jesus…says that we simply MUST join those people where they are if there is any hope of reaching them.

Now this isn’t to say that we join in on all of their habits, hangups and hurts. It simply means that we must find a common ground with them…with absolutely no judgment. (“There but for the grace of God, go I!”) What it means is this: unless “those people” see us as willing believers to meet them where they are, they will want nothing, or very little, to do with anything we have to say to them.

I haven’t watched ahead so I don’t know the next moments of the story, but I do know this: Many people have come into a relationship with Jesus Christ because someone close to them…someone trustworthy…someone who is a close heart friend…someone who has reserved judgment to the One and Only High Judge.

Plain…and simple.

It’s not complicated.

I daresay that there are many people in your sphere of influence that need to know about Christ. People of different color, different economic standing, different lifestyles, different political views, different mental wellness, different parenting styles, etc.

Go get into their world. Speak their language. Yet remain totally and completely you in all of it. Figure out how they “learn”…how they “deal.” Join them where they are. Because only then will they allow you to speak the words that they really need to hear…whether they believe it or not!

“Join them where they are until they’re ready to walk into the real world.”

So I encourage you, as you go about your days, seek out those around you that need words of encouragement, words of love and grace, positive words that just might change their life in that moment…and maybe for many years to come.

And with God’s merciful grace, maybe one day soon, they’ll “walk into the real world.”

YES and AMEN!

#40daysoflove

Gilmore Girls.

So I finished episode 22 of season 7. (Not even to the new ones yet.)

I. Can’t. Even.

When my sister and other friends recommended this show to me, I wasn’t sure that I’d enjoy it as much as they did. They have daughters. I don’t have a daughter.  I have a sister who has a daughter. And I have friends who have daughters..and I AM a daughter. But I am not the mother of a daughter.

But I am a mother. I have a total of one son. And the feels in Gilmore Girls are all the exact same feels that I feel.

I remember the feelings I had when my one-and-only son graduated from high school and went to college. It was quite an emotional deal for me. I couldn’t imagine him being even just 45 minutes away from me. It was almost too much. We talked on the phone a bunch…and texted like mad. I felt the “Lorelai feels” for 4 whole years.

Then, he graduated from college. For the next year or so, he hung around close enough to stay connected to me and David. But it wasn’t long before he moved far away. And I can’t even tell you all of the emotions I went through as we helped him move.

Pride was high on the list…because I knew beyond all doubt that he was oh-so-capable of doing anything he set his mind to.

But close on the heels of pride was love. Pure, unadulterated love. And his moving meant that part of my heart was leaving me and traveling 9-plus hours away from my body. And that was not only difficult, but nigh impossible, to comprehend.

I’d spent 20+ years investing in the life and well-being of this human individual called my son. How could I even imagine letting this “fruit of my loin” go so far away and attempt to live so separated from me? Surely it couldn’t be so!!!

But…it was so. And it IS so. And thankfully, the things I instilled into his life, like Lorelai instilled into Rory’s life, for so many years, have come to fruition. He is a young man that I can say that I’m super-immensely proud of. What a super human-man he has become. And I am so proud and STOKED to be his mommy!!

So thank you, Gilmore Girls, for reminding me that, as hard and heart-breaking as goodbyes are, the satisfaction of seeing your child grow up and become a successful, good, kind, hard-working, generous, funny and precious grownup is worth it all.

My sweet mother-in-love, Becky, sent me a video of Gloria Gaither (of Bill & Gloria…the couple that’s written more gospel songs than anyone on the planet.) In this video, she’s telling a friend “God is in the interruptions.”

I just love what she says. And even though Becky kindly said to me, “She sounds like your writing…wise!” (which is more humbling than you can grasp,) I couldn’t say this any better than Gloria does.

So this blog is Gloria Gaither’s words…not mine. And as you read, pay close attention. Because the message in this conversation is absolutely priceless.

It IS wise. It’s true. It’s useful. And it’s so freeing.

Enjoy!

———

God is in the interruptions, but He’s seldom in my plans.

He doesn’t mind if we have our plans, but He doesn’t mind interrupting them, either.

What caused me to first think about that? My life.

It actually happened when I turned 60. When I turned 60, I thought, “Wow, I’m just now figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.” And I thought, “If I wrote the story of my life, what would make the book?”

And that’s what made me stop and say, “Everything that would make the book was an interruption.” But then I thought, “I think everything that made the book for Jesus was an interruption.”

In the whole New Testament, it says, “He was on His way to teach His disciples”…and as far as I know, they never got taught. Lol Because someone would say, “Son of David, have mercy on me” or the woman who touched the hem of His garment.

In fact, on His way to heal a woman that had already interrupted Him, He was interrupted in His grieving for John the Baptist. And finally, seeing His exhaustion, the disciples said, “Get in this boat and we’re gonna take you to the other side.” But the whole country followed Him to the other side. And He ended up feeding 5,000 people.

Interruptions. Time after time after time after time.

And I thought, “Ok, so why am I so bent out of shape about interruptions?”

If I had my life to live over, the only thing I would change is I would sigh fewer sighs of exasperation. I would have known sooner that this is God’s adventure. I would make my list…which is ok…and I would say, “I wonder how God is gonna mess this up today? How’s He going to hijack my life?”

So instead of saying, “Oh, shoot!” I would say, “Ok, that’s [the interruption] for today.”

Life is full of changes, but life is about signing up for the Changer. Change isn’t necessarily good. Change can be evil. It can be bad. Only rejoice in the change if you know God is in it.

Let’s consider praise. When you stand with your arms held high, you’re basically saying, “God, You can take anything out of my hands that you want to. And You can put anything in my hands that You want to.” It’s a very vulnerable position., because you’re not protecting yourself.

So it’s not just welcoming change, it’s welcoming resurrection. And the truth is, the resurrection is all around us. It’s a whole new way of everything. So you talk about change? His resurrection was the change point! He came to make all things new. 

— — — — —

Oh wow! See what I mean? I really couldn’t have said it any better. And if any of it doesn’t make sense, just remember that she was saying all this in a surprise, impromptu conversation.

So as you go about your day today and every day henceforth, sigh less sighs of exasperation. Allow your life to be interrupted by God. And you know what? Even when the people in our life…family, friend, stranger…interrupt us and our list of to-do’s, sigh a sigh of release. Because God’s about to do something that you don’t want to miss!

I am an unapologetic, yet proud, drawer/colorer/creator/doodler.

I love to draw. I love to color. I love to create. And I love to doodle.

Let me share a vulnerable fact with you, my friends. I am addicted…was that strong enough? I am ADDICTED to the gathering of pens and pencils. As far back as I can remember. No lie. Colorful pens and, specifically, colored pencils. I bet I’ve collected 1,000 pens/pencils in the span of my lifetime (and I’m being conservative with this estimate.)

I believe this must be genetic, or a family trait at best, because my dad does the same thing… or used to. I remember, even as a child, going to sit at his desk at our home, and seeing lots of pens and pencils and all manner of writing instruments.

I’m not a “professional” artist…although some of my creations have been purchased by, not only family and friends, but total strangers. And by purchased, I mean they actually paid money to acquire my stuff. It’s humbling…yet rewarding.

As an artist, I know the value of keeping your tools of the trade in ship-shape condition. I know that if one of my “tools” is going to be of any value to me, it needs to be in the best condition expected for said tool.

For example, I use colored pencils a LOT in my art. They’re amazingly versatile and blendable and shadeable. (Coining new words here lol) And as I do my art, whatever it happens to be at the time, it drives me plum crazy when the colored pencils start getting not-so-sharp. It’s very hard to be detailed in my drawing when my pencils are dulled at the point.

So, I go to my trusty and reliable pencil sharpener…
and I sharpen them.

I’m very picky about my pencil sharpeners. In fact, I’ve probably spent $50 or more trying different sharpeners that I think would effectively sharpen my drawing pencils without breaking them. #dontjudge

Just last night, I was sharpening a bunch of colored pencils that I’ve been using and that had become “considerably-less-than-sharp” in recent days. So I sat at my desk for about 5 minutes, sharpening every single colored pencil I own (also being conservative in this fact. Cuz I have a lot of pencils.)

And suddenly, I had a thought sashay through my cranium…and I wanted to share it with you’s guys!

I have a substantial pencil sharpener. As I said…I’m picky. And it grinds and sharpens those pencils to a superfine point. And I like that. My pencil sharpener has 6 different “holes”, I guess you could call them, on the dial in front (see picture). Some of my pencils, depending on the brand, are different in their shape than my other pencils. So I’m delighted that my sharpener has different shapes/sizes for that purpose.

Ok, enough about that. Here’s where I’m going with this.

God gave me an insight tonight as I was sharpening my pencils. (He’s so cool!!)

God…is the great Drawer/Colorer/Creator/Doodler!
Me, myself and I…am the pencil.
My life story/my neighborhood/my office/the world…is the paper.

God wants to use us to color and doodle on the world. But because of life, we get really dull at times. We get comfortable because we’re okay that we’ve lost our edge, lost our sharpness, lost our point.

As a creative, I want my pencils to be as sharp as they can be so my creation is as on-point as it can be. Likewise, God picks us up and sticks us into a situation (aka ‘sharpener’) that is possibly very painful and uncomfy. I’m sure if my pencils could talk back to me as they’re in the sharpener, they’d say, “Ok, wait a minute! This really hurts, man! What are you doing to me? I’ve been just fine up until now. And you reward and repay me by sticking me into this contraption that’s really messing me up??”

Sound familiar?

God does this. We become comfortable, and round, and dull, and we become less-than-effective in our coloring of the world. So God says, “Ok, you were meant for more than this, chica! You were meant to drastically change the way this black-and-white world looks…to brightly and dramatically color it with My love, My joy, My kindness, My forgiveness, My mercy, and My grace. But you’re getting useless because you think you’re all washed up. You think that you can’t be used because you’ve been used up!”

Good news, people. 

GOD CAN STILL USE YOU.

But sometimes, to get you from one stage to the next, you may have to suffer a smidge. It’s not fun going into God’s “sharpener”…it hurts, it stings, it gives us a headache and it makes us gripey…and we often think, “Hey, God, this is just NOT fair! This hurts!! Me. No. Likey!”

But God says, “I want to use you, my son/daughter. But I simply must sharpen you up so that you’ll be prepared to go out and doodle my love-message on the pitiful paper of this planet!”

Look here! Can I draw/color/create/doodle with a dull colored pencil? Of course I can! But the chances of me getting out of the lines and losing the sharpness of the color of the pencil are pretty significant. Yes, it will be colored/drawn/doodled on, and people may actually recognize what it is when they look at it…but it won’t be as beautiful of a masterpiece as it could have been with a super-sharp pencil.

God so wants to use you! And if we want to be used to be the most effective in this world that we can possibly be, then we have to allow God to sharpen us, even though it may be incredibly painful.

So think of the tough/rough/bad/sad/ugly/painful times that you’re going through…see them as God’s pencil sharpeners…sharpening you, His instrument, to a superfine point so that you can be as beautiful of a reflection of God’s love to this world as you can possibly be.

~ Selah!

Many of you reading this know that we started a new campaign at Rock Springs last Sunday — 40 Days of Love. It’s really going well. So many amazing responses and stories are already surfacing. Just today I heard stories of brand new and renewed friendships, repaired relationships, surprising God-moments, aha moments, hearts growing three sizes in a day. And there’s a general buzz of anticipation in our church body unlike we’ve experienced in recent days.

We’ve wondered what made this specific “series” light up so many hearts. You don’t have to think too long to figure it out, really. In today’s world, there is so much hate. “Haters gonna hate” was not even a common saying a few years ago…now it’s common conversation. Of course, there have always been haters…but today’s society and mindset allows people to not only hate brand new things, but to actually show it…to voice it…to demonstrate it…and to damage and hurt (and even kill) other people in the process. It’s become common practice to stand on a big rock and holler out at the crowds what you’re “hating” today…and it could be anything and/or everything. Slap your particular label on it.

I told David at dinner last night that the 1965 song, “What the World Needs Now”, sung by Jackie DeShannon (go look it up on YouTube) is as relevant today as it was in 1965…if not more so. But love ain’t easy. Jesus’ teachings on love are tough to swallow:
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?”
“Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.”
“Love God…[also] love your neighbor.”

The teachings of the disciples and the apostle Paul are just as tough:
“Love does no harm to a neighbor.”
“…bear with one another in love.”
“Above all, love each other deeply…”
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

If you can do any of these things, sincerely, without expecting attention or applause, then you’ve lived about as deep of a faith life as you possibly can. These are hard teachings.

But that’s why we’re doing 40 Days of Love…to help us learn the why’s and the how’s and the practicalities of living a loving life like Jesus lived and like Jesus taught.

But here’s the rub; and mark my words. Any time you commit your whole self (your time, your treasure, your attention, etc) to learning a specific aspect of Jesus, Satan ain’t gonna stand for it. He’s going to do all that he can to bring your progress to a grinding halt. I guarantee it.

1 Peter 5:8-9a says this: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.”

Don’t believe me? We’ve seen it just this week already.
A recently-restored marriage is senselessly falling apart.
A mother lost a teenage son.
Miscommunication leading to misunderstanding.
Refusing to “love” someone from the past that did you wrong.

Even in our own relationship, David and I have had a couple of little stress moments this week over things that are really of no big consequence…things we put to rest long ago. In fact, last night I had a couple of projects at home that I wanted to get done. David came home from work, having had one of the roughest weeks in recent months. In passing, he said something about thinking we might go out when he got back home from taking our dog to the dog park.

I was like, “Ugh, I really wanted to get these things done tonight.” But after he left to go to the dog park, I thought, “What would love look like in this situation? What does David need right now, to show him that he is loved and listened to?” So, I put aside my plans for projects…and when he got home, I said, “Let’s get the pets fed and then let’s go out!” So we went out to a restaurant here in town where we haven’t been in a long time, and we had dinner and good, meaningful, sometimes-emotional conversation.

Don’t misread this: I’m not wanting any kind of applause…because as much as I love him, I didn’t initially want to do what he wanted to do. I had plans. But I decided to do what he wanted to do, and to put his needs before my needs. (Although he did say after dinner that I’d earned 10,000 points in the love bank).

All that to say this: PAY ATTENTION, PEOPLE. And don’t think for one minute that it can’t or won’t happen to you. Because it CAN!

If you let your guard down…if you get over-tired or stressed or afraid or put off by what your friend or spouse or kid or parent says…or even if you get overconfident and think, “Hey, I’ve got this love thing in the bag. I could teach others a thing or two!”…Satan can get his gnarly toes in the door and slither right in, bringing all of his accusations and doubts and temptations right in with him.

A Bible teacher once said of this subject that, you’ll notice in the verse that it says that Satan is a “roaring lion.” Make no mistake: Jesus’ death on the cross “de-fanged and de-clawed“ that lion. Yet, he will still roar…making you think that he is more powerful than he is. But the only power he has is the power that you give him to rob you of the love that Jesus is forming and strengthening in your life.

And once he is given that power, he won’t stop until he has devoured you. He doesn’t just want to pin you down and lick you or nibble on you. He won’t rest until he sees that you have been completely devoured. He won’t be happy with you just being miserable…he wants to destroy you…and make you completely useless.

But the next verse says to stand firm against him…and be strong! How? When you stay alert, and you notice those times that old feelings, old habits, old thoughts are creeping back in, immediately pray! In fact, be more prayerful than you’ve ever been! I promise that when you approach God in the authority of what Jesus did on the cross, that will set Satan running. He’ll give up before you know it…once he figures out that his attacks are only driving you closer to Jesus, and to practicing more love.

So please, please, please…no matter where you are in your faith walk…no matter what you’re trying to pursue (more love, more peace, more faith, more purpose, more whatever)…just remember and pay close attention. Satan is more than willing to trip you up…but don’t you let him!

Stay alert! Stand firm! Be strong!

❤️

I just got back home on Monday from a 6-day trip to the Nashville, Tennessee, area. I went to be the featured speaker at a women’s retreat that’s been going on for 19 years already. To say that I was honored is a total understatement. It was a crazy-amazing weekend of refreshment, renewal, and reminding that God’s HOPE is available to every single person on the entirety of the whole earth…no matter where you are, who you are, what you do, what you’ve done or who you’ve done it with.

There were close to 70 beautiful ladies at this event, and I know that I was able to personally minister to at least 15 specific women…mainly because they were the ones who actually came up to me when the weekend was ending to tell me of the horrific storms that they’re going through AS WE SPEAK…and to tell me that the message of HOPE that I brought straight from God (and thank God, because it was ALL Him) was giving them the strength to go home and give their situation another try and to not give up. #canteven

I mean, really people…….how can you ask more than that? Listen…that was my specific prayer as I studied over the last 3-4 months, and as I stepped foot on a plane to get my body to this retreat…and as I walked up to the “podium” that was provided for me in front of these many expectant women, all facing their own battles and storms…so many of them in storms worse than I’ve ever had to go through..

And yet…so willingly and lovingly and longingly, they looked for the anchor that would keep them from drifting and keep them from rocking and rolling in their current storm.

Along with this amazing God-job placed in front of me, I was so blessed to spend quality and quantity time with one of my best of bestest friends, Robin Woodson. Can’t even tell you how much I love this woman!! She and her husband Israel, and her 3 crazy-beautiful and talented and awesome and precious and funny girl-children, treated me like a princess and made me feel so welcome in their home and in their life. (And as a side note, I’m just pretty not-happy that God called them to move so far away from me…but I’m dealing. I’m trying to be Christian about this whole thing! lol)

Ok, that’s the setup. Stay with me, ok?

Monday night, after a bit of delay in my final flight to Durango, CO, (one whole stinkin’ hour…#firstworldproblems)…my handsome, charming, amazing, totally-missed husband drove an hour from Cortez to the Durango airport to meet me and bring me back home. I don’t pretend to think that he can make it without me (although he always does), but I love to be needed and wanted and desired…even if it’s just to make his tuna salad the exact/specific way he prefers. It was great to get home and have him tell me that things just go better when I’m here…for him personally…for the home…and just life in general.

But there’s this weird thing that happens with me when I come home from an extended trip somewhere else. It’s always been this way…and I mean, always! I can’t even really put my finger on it, to be honest…it’s just an eerily-strange mental/emotional sensation that takes a few days to wear off so that I can feel normal again…and get back into the regular groove of my life here with this stuff in this place in this time.

It also happened a couple of weeks ago when David and I went up to Fort Collins, CO, to spend time with our son, CD. We got back home…to our house…and our stuff…and it happened……

Like I said…can’t really explain it. (If you’re a genius and know what this particular phenomenon is, I’m all ears.)

But David said something that makes total sense when I told him that I kinda feel like a stranger…a visitor…in my own home around my own whatever. It’s almost like our physical bodies showed up in our town, on our property, in our driveway and on into our house and our life… He told me it’s like “we’re just waiting for our souls to catch up.”

YES!! Oh my golly gosh!! That’s exactly it!! For some strange reason, for a couple of days after I get back home from a meaningful, memory-making trip to wherever…when I spend quality time with whoever…when I get back home (as much as I love coming home)…it just feels…weird. (Like I said, there’s no way really to describe it.)

And maybe it’s exactly as David said. When we went to Fort Collins to spend time with our one-and-only most precious son a couple of weeks ago, my soul…my spirit, if you will…stayed in Fort Collins for a couple of days, because CD is such a huge part of my heart.

And when I spent 5+ days in Nashville…the very city where I finally found my adult-self during college and early work years… and also spending sweet days with Israel & Robin, the dearest of the dearest of heart-friends, and their three sweet, sweet girls that I love like my own family…and being able to share my painful story followed by God’s out-of-this-world HOPE with around 70 beautiful women at the retreat…that’s where my soul lives! Yes, I love where I am…where I live…and the people who share my life in my town in my world. But even though I know that my world at this moment is totally meant to be in Montezuma County…my soul takes just a minute to catch up to me when I come home.

Is it just me?

I love my life.

I love my church.

I love my close heart-friends.

I love my home.

I love my purpose and my ministry.

But just because my body occupies a certain space, that doesn’t mean that my soul is there yet. Just gimme a minute, ok? It’ll show up. In a coupla days. And stand back when it does…cuz I’ll hit the ground running full-speed again, making sure that the fire that ignites the part of my soul that brings purpose, meaning and changed lives is always LIT.

Heaven is gonna be a place where our lives are totally and completely LIT. There’s no two ways about it. Life here on earth, in this limited, finite, bound-by-earth existence, is gonna keep longing and needing and searching for things that will make us feel complete and useful and purposeful and complete…before we go to heaven.

As believers, our “souls” are already there. In heaven. With Jesus. And on this big blue ball where we live, we are going to feel incomplete, uncomfortable at times, out of sync with ourselves…

But hey…good news…we can start living that heaven-life right now!…

The longing…the needing…the searching…look no further!

Jesus is the Answer! Period!!

That is all for now.

I’m leaving this afternoon to fly from Durango, Colorado…to Dallas, Texas (#mytexasheart)…to Nashville, Tennessee (#mytennesseeheart).

Do you get as completely crazy totes stressed before a trip as I do??? Doesn’t matter if I’m flying, driving, walking or taking a mouse-drawn carriage. In the last minutes, I get stressed — out of sorts, as it were.

I’m going to Tennessee to do something I absolutely am purposed to do…no doubt! I am the featured speaker at a women’s retreat. I absolutely love to teach! I have helped lead worship at this same retreat in 2013, but this time…I’m the speaker! The featured speaker, y’all! (If you’d known me in my younger years, you’d know this is a miracle. Just sayin’!) I’m humbled and I’m stoked all at the same ol’ time!!! But that brings with it some crazy accountability and responsibility. #prayforme

So…in the past few days, amidst the celebrating of one my bestie friend’s first major published book release, I’ve been packing and prepping and panicking (to some degree.)

I stress. Oh, Lordy, do I stress. My stress reveals itself in tiny adolescent breakouts on my way-too-old-to-be-breaking-out face. And even though I think I’m ready and prepared and equal to the task ahead of me, I can’t deny or decrease the stress.

Ok…I’m stressed about what to pack. (But really, what woman isn’t at this point?) I’m going from Colorado weather of highs in the mid-70’s to Tennessee weather of highs in the high-80’s. No big whup, really. But it takes some thinking and planning and strategery to pack the things I definitely will need, and leaving the questionable things behind.

Plus, since I’m kinda the “go-to-girl” for video screen at our Sunday morning services, I’ve done what I can do with what I have for this weekend…and will need to leave the last-minute deets to someone else. #lordbewithme

PLUS, I’m leaving my hubster for 5-ish days…and although he’s not inept in any way, I feel like I need to leave things “prepped” for him while I’m gone (ie. pre-measured coffee in ziplock snack bags so all he has to do is add water to the coffee maker.” #patheticbutlovingwife

He has enough clothes/socks/underwear washed to make it until I get back on Monday night. And he has a basic, general knowledge of how to make the tuna salad the way that he prefers.

All. That. To. Say……

I kinda get tired of the stress that an upcoming trip induces.

I LOVE to travel…but I just wish I could go to sleep in my own comfy bed, and then wake up in my new place, with everything I will need until I wake up in my own comfy bed again. Anyone? Anyone???

Make no mistake: I’m super stoked about this trip (besides the fact that I love me some Tennessee, y’all.) #volunteersandcountrymusic!!

I am super excited about the theme of the weekend: HOPE…as an anchor for our souls.

Hope is the most important thing in all of the all of life! I want to tell these women I’ll be speaking to that, even though life totes sucks at times…and horrible, unspeakable events happen…and we get crappy health diagnoses, and all the other stuff…our hope does not even begin to lie in our circumstances. Instead, it lies in the very Son of God, who put death to death, who gave me a reason to wake up in the morning, and to not lose my faith, my hope, or my love just because some lunatic decided it was time to kill a bunch of people for whatever reason!

People, I beg you: don’t lose faith. Don’t lose hope. And by all means, don’t lose the capability to love other people around you…yes, even those who are crazy unloveable.!

Trips may tend to stress me. But knowing that my actions and my attitude, based on what Jesus Himself taught me, can change at least one life…no stress, y’all. No stress whatsoever!

Bring it on!!

Before August 12, 2013, my father-in-love’s funeral day, I had never spoken at a graveside service. In fact, if I can, I stay at the back of the crowd so I don’t have to be too intimately involved in what’s being said and done. But I offered because Brad was my second dad. And David, his son, is my best friend and pastor. And David needed a break.

With that in mind, I wanted to share this with you…especially any of you who are crushed by the passing of our sweet, kind, gentle giant, John Bond. Even typing his name in this context destroys me. I simply cannot believe it.

Nevertheless, here is that graveside moment…but I’ve changed it from Brad Ramsey, Jr./Pawpaw…to John. Because, as I’ve mentioned before, John was a definite father-figure to me…and now there is a hole in my life and heart. I hope that maybe you can find some comfort in these words. That’s my prayer!

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I’ve tried to make sense out of all of this. But nothing is working. It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t fair. John was taken too soon from us. Simple as that. CS Lewis said, “The death of a beloved is an amputation.” Not “like” an amputation. It is one. A vital, irreplaceable part of our family has been amputated…cut off. Every part of our lives that once had John in it will now be empty.

We’ll find thought after thought, feeling after feeling, action after action, that had John for their object. Now the target is gone. We will keep on, through habit, fitting an arrow to the string; then remember…and have to lay the bow down.

We will continue to grieve. Not only that, but we will live each day thinking about living each day in grief. But there is such great comfort knowing where John is. He won’t hurt any more. He won’t grieve any more. He won’t have to lie about feeling ok any more. And one day, we will all be reunited with him

John lived each day demonstrating to us how to leave this world with no regret. As CS Lewis said, “There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

It’s ok to try to understand why things like these occur. But the Bible tells us to trust with our heart, not with our mind. We can’t depend on our mind to help us figure this out.

God is in control; his thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways. But one thing we can be sure of is this: God is loving, faithful, gracious and merciful.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”

We have to practice what we’ve learned now. What we’ve taught others to believe. God wants to know if we will trust Him no matter what our outward circumstances may be – even if it means death. Will we say with Job, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him”?

So with that, we say our final earth goodbye, here on this mountain. And it is now our responsibility and privilege as friends, wife, sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren, to carry on his legacy. To live selflessly, to give generously, to develop relationships expecting nothing in return, to make people feel like they matter to someone, to serve joyfully, and to one day, leave this life with no regrets. And a better place because we were here.

Because this world is a much better place because John walked its soil.

This past weekend, I was privileged to get to go “home” to Texas to attend my youngest nephew’s wedding. Let me just say…it moved me to tears. He is only 19 years old, and his new bride only 18…for the love of matrimony!! Yet, in spite of their young ages, I know beyond the shadow of any doubt that they’re gonna make it. Their hearts are in the right place…their vision and purpose for their future is clear…and their love is undeniable. It was a precious wedding (Zelda theme, no less) and I could see the future in their love-filled eyes. This is no fly-by-night commitment. It’s the real deal.

While I was there, there was coming a time during the weekend when I was going to see, for the first time since Christmas, a very close family member that has been “estranged,” for lack of a better word, from our family because of bad decisions he has confessed that he’s made. I saw him at Christmas, loved every moment with him (as I always do)…but around New Years, he admitted to the family that he had made some horrible decisions that would affect many aspects of not only his own personal life, but the lives of our family members.

He has confessed, repented and is seeking reconciliation (even though there are more consequences he must face in the near future.) But the “fellowship” is damaged and is in need of continued repair. Trust is still being rebuilt.

Anyway…this moment was approaching when I was going to be seeing him face to face…for the very first time since all of this information has been made public…knowing what I know and him knowing what I know.

I texted my closest friends and prayer-partners, asking them to pray this exact prayer: “Pray that he feels my acceptance of him…to add another layer of grace on his troubled heart.”

That’s it, isn’t it? Grace? Layers of grace?

As I was talking to my parents one morning about this very thing, mentioning the “layers of grace,” I realized that…that’s it! Layers of grace.

Recently, for some odd reason that I won’t even try to figure out (cuz it ain’t necessary)…I’ve been thinking a lot about and watching documentaries about and reading about…monarch butterflies. And at the same time, a friend from high school has been posting online about monarchs that have come to her house in Texas, the caterpillars eating her “caterpillar-friendly” plants, then forming cocoons on the eaves of her house and other places. It fascinates me!

Then I finally made a connection…a realization.

These caterpillars form these cocoons around them in order to make a miraculous, dramatic transformation inside…they transform from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. A completely different creature!

It hit me…that’s what happens to us! We all need to change from the sinful, rotten life that we have been living until now, into a brand new creature. The changing process can’t be easy. It must be rather painful for that little guy. But what comes out of that cocoon is something we could have never imagined! Something more perfect, more beautiful, than our minds could have ever conceived.

But unlike caterpillars, we humans can’t form our own cocoons. We’re not that smart or that committed. But others can help us with them. And when we are shown grace from others…over and over and over…it forms layers of grace. And when we are wrapped tightly and snugly and securely in the grace that’s been shown to us by those around us who love us unconditionally (partnered with the ultimate grace that Christ gives us), we are finally free to make those changes that will help us to emerge as a beautiful new creation…the changed-life that God wants for us and gives to us.

So, what’s my point? Well, when I saw this young family member, who I love so much still, I showed him grace. I hugged him tightly. I kissed his cheek. I told him I loved him. And he hugged me tightly back. There was no fake-ness or pretending. It was genuine love and genuine grace.

Do I agree with or approve of the mistakes and bad decisions he made? Of course not. Do I realize that I’ve made mistakes and “there but for the grace of God go I”? Absolutely!!! I am in no place to judge. But I know grace covers a multitude of sins…and allows me to heal and to change…and to do all I can to make decisions that get me on a path toward wholeness…and back in right-standing with God and with those I love.

I know there are people in your very own family…in your life…that you find it very hard to show grace to. But maybe if you went ahead and showed that grace, over and over, and others showed them grace as well, and they took on the grace of Jesus…eventually there will be enough layers that they will be able to transform…change…become the beautiful, brand-new person that God wants them to be.

Never, ever, ever hesitate to show grace. Layer it on! Then layer it on again! It could be the very thing that helps them to finally let go…and fly!

Hebrews 12:1b “…let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.”

I’m not a runner. Let me just say it again: I am not a runner. As my husband says, if you see me running, you better run, too, because something scary is chasing me. I have slipped into a jog now and then when I have gone walking, but I don’t run. My brother-in-law runs. And he got my sister into running. I have several friends who are avid runners and have participated in many marathons of varying distances. But I just never have really even wanted to.

Let me back up…I HAVE run. In fact, in elementary school, I could outrun any boy on the playground. But somewhere around my 3rd grade year, I stopped. And I haven’t run since.

But just because I don’t run, doesn’t mean I don’t understand running and running well. For example, I know you don’t run well in combat boots, a parka and a big, floppy hat. I know you don’t run well in a field of tumbleweeds. I know you don’t run well backwards.

In Hebrews 12, Paul is reminding us of the importance of running this race of life well. To be careful where we run, who we run with and what we have on when we run. And he’s not talking about high school running tracks and Nike running shoes. He’s talking spiritually.

There are way too many stumbling blocks in this race of life as it is. But we, as humans, even as Christians, allow sin to creep in…heck, sometimes we leave the front door wide open and holler for it to come in and have dinner. Either way, it’s there. We welcome it. We entertain it. We feed it. And it waltzes in, makes itself at home, then begins to slowly and methodically destroy us. It begins to “entangle” us.

The first place it entangles us is around our feet. I imagine trying to run the rope obstacle course that they run in boot camp/basic training. Where you have to run through the checkerboard of criss-crossed ropes. I guarantee that with my first step, I’d get my foot caught on a rope and eat it. Makes me nervous to even think about it. But as a true runner, you need to run without anything entangling your feet. Make sure your shoelaces are tied. Make sure your running pants fit close to your ankles. Better yet, run in running shorts. Run on surfaces that are free of debris and roots and the like. Get rid of those things so that you can run smoothly and successfully.

Another place that sin entangles us is in our stomach. Yes, our gut. You know the feeling. The feeling of guilt. The feeling of anxiety that “someone will find out.” The feeling of nervousness. The feeling of fear. All these feelings affect our tummy. No one can run well with an upset tummy, yet we all try to run our spiritual race with a knot in our stomach concerning some something that we’ve done or haven’t done. Pretty soon, we’ll bend over in pain from a stitch in our side.

A third place that sin entangles and gets hold of us is our mind. We fool ourselves with faulty thinking. Things like, “This isn’t that bad,” “Everyone else does it,” “No one will ever find out.” These types of thoughts and mindsets are sometimes the most dangerous to the runner because it keeps us from being focused on what’s really happening in our run. A runner needs to stay focused, so he/she can see the path ahead; be aware of any upcoming rocks, limbs, potholes, people in their way that will slow down or stop their run. It’s foolish to think that sin is “no big deal.” Its consequences can be devastating and when we take sin too lightly, we will, ourselves, be devastated.

Sin can also entangle our mind when we are distracted. Distractions are wicked mean…and believe me, I can be distracted quicker than you can say “squirrel”. Put me in a cluttered room and tell me to clean it up and/or organize it, and I’ll find one picture or one match book or one autograph book from elementary (yes, I still have it; don’t judge)…and the distractions begin to run amok! Those aren’t bad distractions…they just get my focus off the job at hand and onto my best friend in 2nd grade. But remember this: as you run your race, you can be distracted by people on the sidelines who are booing you and telling you you’ll never finish, but you can also be distracted by those along the sidelines that are hollering your name and telling you you’re doing great! If you turn your attention toward them for very long, whether good or bad, you will slow down…or worse, bite it right there in front of everyone.

A final place that sin entangles is our heart. Our heart is the center of our everything. It’s the center of where we love. The center of our passion and purpose. When sin comes into our lives, we lose our ability to truly love ourselves and love others. We become overly-focused on ourselves simply because we’re trying to convince ourselves that we’re ok. We’re trying to justify our actions. We’re trying to hide our secrets. And when we over-focus on ourselves, we under-focus on others around us. Those who need our attention and love. Those closest to us, like friends and family, and those around us who need our time and service.

So…get rid of it. All of it. Open the door to your life, use no pleasantries or kind gestures, and kick sin to the curb. It’s no good for you. It doesn’t help you wash the dishes or take out the trash or cook dinner. It only sits on the couch, trying to pull us down and trip us up when we walk by. And if it’s not sitting on the couch, it’s following us way too close and getting in our personal space, eerily whispering in our ears that we don’t measure up, that we’ve screwed up too bad, that there’s spinach in our teeth…or that we’ll never finish the race so we might as well give up now.

And as you kick sin out, invite grace in. Grace encourages, spurs us on, reminds us that we can overcome sin and telling us that we are loved! And love never trips us up…it puts wings on our feet and helps us to fly!