Yesterday, I finally got David to dig my hummingbird feeders out of our storage falling…I mean building. As I’ve spent more time outside in recent days, I realized there were several hummingbirds flying around, apparently looking for something to eat/drink. And seeing that I didn’t plant even one outdoor flower this year (don’t judge), they were coming up empty.

So, I cleaned up the feeders, made my “famous” hummingbird juice and filled them up. I put one out in the front yard, and one out in the back. I’ve spent some minutes watching both. It didn’t take them long at all to find the feeders (in fact, the front one is already empty…silly little humming-pigs). So I’ll make more.

I’ve always loved having hummingbird feeders. They’re fascinating little creatures. And having watched them through the years, I’ve found that there are several good lessons we can learn from the hummingbird.

• It’s obvious that a hummingbird is an itty-bitty. And, as an itty-bitty myself, I sometimes see that as a limitation…a hindrance. A hummingbird weighs approximately as much as a penny…about 2.5 grams on average. But its size allows it to hover like a tiny helicopter. It can fly forwards, backwards, sideways, and on occasion, upside-down, if it needs to. They can speed their tiny bodies up to 30 mph in flight, And if they need to dive, they can reach speeds of up to 60mph. The hummingbird doesn’t allow its size to determine its abilities.

• A hummingbird will stand it’s ground come hell or high water. I sometimes have seen this as being very selfish, because, as I watch them, at least one will become the “alpha-hummer” and fight to the death to keep the others from the nectar. They can get extremely aggressive if they need to, especially against bigger birds that want to come join in. But the itty-bitty won’t hear of it…and will often lunge at a larger bird to tell him to back off. No way is he letting the big birds push him around. He doesn’t let his size determine his strength.

• I read once that a hummingbird has a photographic-type memory. It can remember the exact location of every flower and feeder it’s visited. That comes in handy when you travel back and forth, north and south, all during the year. Hummingbirds don’t let their size determine their efficiency.

• Hummingbirds have a unique, iridescent coloring that sets them apart from other birds. Did you know that a hummingbird is able to adjust how brightly their colors shine? When the sun catches them just right, they shine like no other. They don’t let their size determine their grandeur.

So, maybe it’s not your physical size that’s hindering you. Maybe it’s something else standing in your way: your age, your race, your weight, your inexperience, your disability, your past. Maybe it’s a habit, a hangup, or a hurt that keeps bobbing to the surface. Don’t let that get in the way of how God formed you and what He made you to do and be. I believe that if the hummingbird were given a choice, and he based his decision solely on his physical appearance and apparent limitations, he’d sit in his tiny little recliner all day eating sunflower seeds and watching National Geographic.

But he flies…he soars…he stands his ground against the bullies and the pushers…he depends on God to provide the necessities, and then, in the light of the sun, he shines brightly to show God’s glory.

How about you?

Once again, David’s message this morning got me thinking. I always love his messages, but I especially love the ones that cause me to truly explore my own heart and figure out exactly what God is saying to me…personally.

David has taught and spoken on this subject since before we married. I’m very familiar with it. He used to call it “Tips for Triumph over Temptation”…and anyone who has heard it will remember how powerful it is. Granted, many times in the past, he has taught it to teenagers (for years!) but, as he said today, you never outgrow temptation…and just because you may be mature in age and/or faith, that doesn’t mean that Satan is done with you, trying to pull you away from your commitment to Christ and tangle you up in your own shoestrings.

Something new hit me today, though. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, it’s found in Matthew 4:1-11 and Luke 4:1-14. Read it.

As the story goes, Jesus had been fasting 40 days and was in the desert. Satan came and tempted Him three ways. He tempted him to DO something God didn’t want him to do, to BE something God didn’t want him to be, and to HAVE something God didn’t want him to have. And if you look at our lives, we struggle with the same three things…over…and over…and over…and over……

Satan reminded Jesus of His (Jesus’) power to make things happen. He reminded Him that He had the power to turn stones into scones to feed himself after fasting…that He had the power to jump from the highest point on the Temple and land like a feather floating to the ground…that He had the power to be the owner of all of earth’s kingdoms if He would just worship Satan (which really, Jesus already owned them anyway).

If you’re like me, you’d say, “Well, these temptations don’t apply to me because I don’t have the power to change rocks, land lightly or own kingdoms.” But, here’s where the new revelation hit me (and if it already hit you, I’m just slow lol)

Temptation isn’t about power, but about choices. Yes, Satan used Jesus’ obvious power to tempt him…but the temptation was actually choosing to do those things…or to not.

Every one of us have had, and will continue to have, desert temptations. But remember this: Satan will never tempt us to do something we don’t have the power to do. He won’t tempt us to turn rocks to bread…he won’t tempt us to jump from high places. What good would that do? But what he will do is tempt us with a choice…a choice to do things our way, meet our own needs our own way…fulfill our desires our way…in our own time (usually right now). The temptation is to “short-circuit” God’s design…to “bypass” God’s plan. That’s what Jesus’ desert temptation is showing us. It’s showing us that we have a choice…to choose God, or to choose us.

What is it in your life that you’re trying to do…that God doesn’t want you to do?

What is it in your life that you’re trying to be…that God doesn’t want you to be?

What is it in your life that you’re trying to have…that God doesn’t want you to have?

One of the Scriptures that David used this morning was Jeremiah 2:13 … “My people…have turned away from me, the spring of living water. And they have dug their own wells, which are broken wells that cannot hold water.”

Are you digging useless, broken wells instead of relying and trusting on God, “the Spring of living water”? He’ll let you dig your wells, you know? I imagine Him as a father, watching his child try and try to do something on his own, that he knows he’s not strong enough or big enough or wise enough to do…sitting there, arms crossed, as if to say, “Go ahead. Work hard at that thing. And when you get tired enough, and when you finally realize that your work is in vain, I’ll be here to provide the help you need.”

Let’s let go of the doing, the being and the having, unless it’s in line with what God wants us to do, be or have. And let’s depend on the One who gave us all of the desires we have…and let Him fulfill them the way it was always meant to be. And then get ready…because another desert temptation is right around the corner.

This past Sunday morning, David gave a great message on leadership from John 6…the story of the feeding of the five-thousand, of the loaves and fishes. I love that story. I remember hearing it as a child and being amazed. And I still am. A miracle that thousands witnessed…or did they? I think maybe there were just a few who knew a miracle had taken place…Jesus, the 12 disciples, and a little boy. Who was this little boy? The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about him, not even his name. As David mentioned, we don’t know his name…but I do. His name was Mordecai. How do I know that? Because David’s grandfather, as close as a grandfather to me, wrote about this young boy.

Brad Ramsey, Sr. was an amazing writer. I really hope to one day compile all of his writings in a book for others to enjoy. He wrote this particular story…”Mordecai’s Basket”…in the interest of imagining what could have happened on that miracle day. It’s the Bible story expanded, examined and explored. I wanted to share this story with you. It is a bit lengthy, but worth every word. I hope you enjoy it as much as I always have.

(John 6:1-13)

—————

A Boy and His Dream

It’s springtime during what is called the Second Period of Jesus’ Galilean Ministry. The place is a little village on the northeast shore of the Sea of Galilee.

At the end of a lane near the village is a small cottage. The early morning sun shines through a window of the cottage and onto the body of a lad. His name is Mordecai. He lies face down on a cot in the sparsely furnished room.

The warm rays of the morning sun comforts Mordecai’s back. He stirs. The movement brings a stab of pain to the boy’s body, and groan from his lips.

Mordecai instinctively reaches to touch a basket beside his cot. His fingers caress the edges of the basket. It is a tightly woven container, pitched in and out, making it waterproof.

Mordecai’s deceased father was a basket weaver. He had told Mordecai he was a descendent of the basket weavers who made baskets like Moses’ mother put him in to hide him from Pharaoh’s order of death to all Israelite children.

Mordecai’s earliest memories were of the hours he spent in his father’s shop learning to be a basket weaver as his father was.

Inside Mordecai’s basket is a silk lining his mother made so he could carry food without it being contaminated with what else might be in the basket.

While Mordecai lies half asleep, his hands move about the basket, and he wishes for his father as he always does when he hurts.

The boy’s eyes are closed but he is fully conscious of the day. He moves and again there is the pain in his back. He remembers the events of the evening before, and the beating that left his back lacerated.

Mordecai has been fishing along the seashore, and his net has yielded quite a catch. He is in high spirits as he climbs the rocky shore. He can sell some of the fish at the market, and have enough for his and his mother’s supper. But his happiness is short-lived. At the top of the shore he pushes his way through a clump of bushes and steps into the road. He gasps in surprise and fear. He has walked into a band of Roman soldiers!

Mordecai has a deep, burning hatred for Roman soldiers, and for the government they represent.

He has reason for his hatred. Seared into the boy’s mind is the memory of the day near the village, and the Roman troopers had retaliated by taking the lives of some local men. Among those they slew was Mordecai’s father.

Mordecai loathes anything that reminds him of Caesar’s government that rules over his people. He has, many times, spat on the soldiers only to be rewarded with a kick from a heavily-booted foot or a slap across the face.

He has expressed his hatred with such violence that soldiers who patrol the area think it sport to taunt the lad. They call him “the spitting little devil” or “the boy with fire in his belly”.

Mordecai tries to retreat into the bushes, but is not quick enough.

One of the soldiers catches him by the shoulder and whiles him around.

“Where are you going, kid?” he asks.

Mordecai strikes out at the soldier.

“Aha! You’re a spunky little devil, you are!” The soldier strikes Mordecai with such force that he falls face down on the dusty road. His string of fish is thrown into the weeds and before he can regain his footing one of the soldiers grabs the fish and drags them in the dirt.

“You’ve got a good catch here, little boy!” the soldier says and tosses the fish into the bushes. Mordecai swears at the soldier.

“You’re a tough one, aren’t you? How old are you kid?”

Mordecai pulls himself to his full height. “I’ll be thirteen tomorrow. I’ll be a man then!”

“So you think you’re a man, do you? Then you can carry my backpack!” The soldier throws his pack across the boy’s back.

He grabs Mordecai by the arm and begins marching him down the road.

The soldiers soon grow tired of taunting Mordecai. “On your way, kid. Go back to your fish, and quit bragging about your manhood until you know you’ve got the stuff!” a soldier teases.

Mordecai turns and runs, but not until a soldier lays his lash across the lad’s back with such force that it bites into the flesh.

Blood streams down he boy’s back and soaks his tunic.

The lad finds his fish. Soon, tears wash away his anger. He goes down to the sea and washes the dirt from the fish. He removes his clothes, rinses the blood and dirt from them and lays them on a rock to dry. He then wades into the water and washes his wounds as best he can.

When Mordecai is sure the wounds have stopped bleeding he comes out of the water, gingerly puts his clothes on, and sits on a rock overlooking the sea. He will wait until near dark before returning home. His mother will not be so likely to see his bruises by candlelight.

The Day Of Deliverance

It is now morning. Mordecai is lying on his cot. He begins to indulge himself in a fantasy he has built into his mind. The fantasy took root in Mordecai’s thinking soon after his father’s death. He was visiting the synagogue where his mother works as a Temple custodian when he heard the Priest read from the ninth chapter of Isaiah the following: “For unto us a Son is given and the government shall be upon his shoulder and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace!” Mordecai later asked his mother the meaning of the scripture.

“Someday,” she answered, “God will send a Messiah who will deliver His people from their captors. He will be our Savior.”

Mordecai was excited. “Who will he be and when will he come, Mother? he asked.

His mother sighed. “We must be patient, my son. I only know that He will be someone whom God will send. He will be the Anointed One.” This was the birth of Mordecai’s dream. He became obsessed with the belief that, at the appointed time, God would speak to him and say “Mordecai, I have chosen you as the Messiah. The government is in your hands!”

The dream possessed Mordecai’s mind, while he fished or did his chores.

He lay on his cot at nights, building his dream…. When I am the Messiah, I will teach those soldiers who is the Master. I’ll take their own whips and lash them ’til they bleed, then I’ll say, “Throw the whole bunch into the dungeon. Feed them with stale bread and dirty water. They’re nothing but a bunch of hellions.!”

For the last month, Mordecai’s dream had been disturbed. His mother came home one evening with the news that a man named Jesus was going about performing miracles. “They say He cleanses lepers, and gives sight to the bind. Some say he brings dead people back to life.”

“Raises dead people?” Mordecai exclaimed. “I don’t believe anyone can bring a dead person back to life!”

The crushing blow to Mordecai was last night. When he came home his mother was excited. “The man named Jesus is coming to our village tomorrow, Mordecai! You must go see him and hear him teach. I would go if I didn’t have to serve in the temple.”

Now it is early, and Mordecai hears his mother call out, “Come and eat, my child.” Then his mother laughs.

“I shouldn’t call you child anymore, because today you become a man!”

Mordecai is pleased that his mother recognizes his manhood. But he regrets that his father is not living and able to officially declare that he, Mordecai, is a man.

The boy eats and his mother talks. “I’ve prepared a lunch for you in the basket your father made for you Hurry and finish your food. You mustn’t miss this chance to see the miracle worker!”

Mordecai’s mind boils. “Yeah, I want to see what the imposter looks like!”

Mordecai Begins A Life-Changing Journey

Let’s walk with Mordecai, hear the comments of the passing throng, and step into the mind of a lad who is seeking fulfillment of a dream.

With his basket swinging on his arm, and the news of this man Jesus, who threatens to spoil his dream of being the Messiah, Mordecai begins a life-changing journey.

when he comes to the main road, Mordecai is surprised to see the mass of people. Many carry the lame or lead the blind. All are talking about the man named Jesus, and of the wonderful things they have heard he has done. And Mordecai has a rebuttal to every statement.

“They say He’s a carpenter.” “He’s probably never done a day’s work in his life!” Mordecai mutters.

“He gave sight to a blind man” someone said. — “Yeah, He has bunch of fakers that travel with him,” Mordecai claims.

“He turned water into wine at a wedding feast,” someone stated. “Yeah, but anyone knows that drunk people can’t tell the difference from bad wine and good wine,” Mordecai mutters.

“They say a man names Lazarus died and was buried and Jesus just called the man’s name and he came back to life.” And Mordecai muttered to himself, “No dead man has ever been brought back to life.”

Mordecai Sees Jesus

Mordecai moves with the crowd toward a mountain that rises away from the sea. After a long climb, the crowd becomes a milling mass at a large level spot.

Mordecai pushes through the mass of people and is startled when he comes to a break in the crowd. Not more than thirty feet away, a man is seated on a rock by a group of men, as if to protect him from the surging crowd. Yet, when the man’s gaze sweeps the crowd, he seems to reach out to individuals.

When his gaze locks into Mordecai’s vision, it halts for a second and the lad knows the man is Jesus.

A hush settles over the crowd and Jesus begins to speak. At times, people break into his speech and ask questions.

Mordecai is suddenly startled and angered when a soldier asks a question. He is the man who made Mordecai carry his pack.

“What shall we do?” the soldier asks. Jesus looks intently at the soldier when He answers. “Do not intimidate anyone or accuse them falsely.”

Mordecai wants to shout “Hallelujah!” but he can’t believe what Jesus says in the next statement.

“Whoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant; even as the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life as ransom for many!”

A fit of anger floods Mordecai’s mind. “I can’t believe this man — people think he’s the Messiah? He says He didn’t come to be ministered to and to give his life for many — how can you be a king and be a servant at the same time? Whoever heard of a king serving others people? That’s unreal.

“Look at those poor trusting people, rushing up to him with their sick and lame — wanting him to heal them — they act like they really think he’s a healer, and Messiah — He can’t be a divine healer — he looks like he’s dead tired — his feet are dirty — kings don’t have dirty feet. If he is a king, he would have someone take better care of him — and I don’t see a royal chariot anywhere. Kings travel in chariots. I’m through with this crazy bunch. I’m going somewhere away from this crowd!”

Mordecai withdraws behind some rocks where he sits and mulls over what he has heard Jesus say. He loses track of time, totally absorbed in his now shattered dream, “Mordecai, the King!”

Hunger awakens Mordecai and prods him to open his basket. Before he can select a morsel, he is startled by a voice.

“What are you doing, lad?”

Mordecai looks up. Towering over him is the tallest man he has ever seen.

“Hello. I’m Andrew, and what do you have in your basket?” Andrew asks.

“My lunch Mother fixed for me.”

“How much food do you have there?” Andrew asks.

Mordecai peers into the basket. “I have five loaves and two fish. Do you want to eat with me?”

“No, but I think the Master would like to talk with you. Come with me and bring your basket.”

“Is he going to take my food?” Mordecai asks.

Andrew smiles. “The Master takes from no one, but I am sure He will want to talk with you about your food.”

Before Mordecai can get his wits together, the big man leads him up a path and around some large rocks. Mordecai is shocked. He sees Jesus sitting only a few feet away – – – People say He can see inside your heart – – – I wonder if He knows what I thought about His dirty feet?!

“Master, this lad has five barley and two fish, but what are they among so many?” Andrew says.

Mordecai is speechless for the first time he can remember.

Jesus brushes aside Andrew’s question.

“Sit down, Mordecai. I want to talk with you.”

Mordecai is shocked – – – How does He know my name?

Jesus looks Mordecai in the eye as He speaks.

“Do you see those people out there? They are hungry and I want to feed them with the food in your basket, Mordecai!”

Conflicting thoughts race through Mordecai’s mind – – – Whups! There goest my lunch. But this is ridiculous. There are thousands of people out there, and I have only five loaves and two fish. who does He think He is? He can’t follow me. He can fake healing the sick and He can have someone claim he’s had his sight restored, but feeding a crowd of people like this is something else! I know what I’ll do! I’ll go along with him and let him hang himself. That will prove to Mamma and to these people that he is not the Messiah!

Mordecai gulps when he sees the sincerity in Jesus’ face – – Hey, this man is serious!

“You gonna take my lunch?”

“No, Mordecai. I don’t take what belongs to others. But I do have to feed these people, and I want to do it with your five loaves and two fish.”

Mordecai is in awe – – – Hey! This man is the Messiah or a great dreamer! If He is the Messiah and can feed this crowd with my fish and loaves, and the word gets out in town, I will be a hero. – – my dream has come true – – I may not be the Messiah but I will be the next best man. I will be partner with the Messiah!

Mordecai is ready to yield his basket when Jesus stops him. “Before I can do anything with your loaves and fish, Mordecai, I want to ask you some questions. Sit down and let’s talk.”

Mordecai finds a seat on a stone facing Jesus.

“Mordecai, I want you to give the loaves and fish to me, but before you make a decision, let me explain something to you. The food in that basket is yours and will remain yours until you give it to me. Once you give the food to me, you no longer own it. I will have control over it, but you will have the joy of knowing your fish and loaves fed a multitude of people.”

Jesus’ words get Mordecai’s full attention. – – Looks like I’m going to lose control here – – I don’t know if I like this deal.

Jesus interrupts Mordecai’s thoughts. “I’m not through, Mordecai.”

Mordecai is suspicious. If he is going to control what I give him, maybe I should slip a fish and loaf out for my own use. I’ve got a feeling that once he gets his hands on my lunch, he won’t cut a deal with me at all.

The next question startles Mordecai.

“Mordecai, are you willing to give all the food, holding back nothing? If you hold back any, I will take none of it.”

Hey! This man must be reading my mind. I don’t know if I like this deal or not. I need some time to think it over!

Jesus has another question. “Mordecai, will you give me the food in your basket now? These people are hungry. What we do must be done soon. I will feed these people. If you don’t give me the food in your basket, I will use other means to work a miracle. I can turn these stones into food if I have to!”

Mordecai is shocked. Turn stones to bread? – – I’ve never heard anyone talk like this man. He’s either got something or he’s out of his mind.

“Mordecai, you have a chance to see me perform a miracle with your loaves and fish, if you are willing to give them right now!”

Mordecai’s mind is whirling. – – There it is again. What will they say about me when I get back to town? I can hear all the kids and the grownups. – – Mordecai’s loaves and fish fed thousands – – that’s going to be great for me!

The boy is ready to jump up and dump the basket’s contents at Jesus’ feet when he is stunned with Jesus’ next statement. “Mordecai, you can’t tell me how to do the multiplying!”

This means I will not have any control once I give the fish and loaves to him. But I will be known as the one giving food to the thousands. This is going to be a great day for me. My name will be known all over the country. I will get credit for feeding a multitude of people!

But Jesus’ next statement stuns Mordecai into silence.

“If I feed this crowd of people, the story of the event will be told thousands and thousands of times, for hundreds and hundreds of years.”

Jesus pauses as if to let what he has said sink into Mordecai’s mind, and it does.

Ah! My dream, my dream! His mind goes into orbit. Wherever people talk about this man feeding thousands of people, they will tell about me. Mordecai, giving Jesus my fish and loaves.

But Jesus is talking again. What He says is a jolt to Mordecai’s mind.

“Mordecai, there is one more thing you must understand. If you allow me to use these fish and loaves to feed this multitude, your name will never be connected to this story of the miracle. I will be the star in this story, and no one will ever know your name.”

Mordecai is in shock! What is this man talking about? Does he know what he is asking of me? – – No name, no fame, no glory, not even one mention of me? He must be convinced that he is the Messiah!

Again there is silence. When Jesus speaks, His voice is tender. “I want you to look at me, Mordecai, when I tell you this.”

Jesus puts his finger under Mordecai’s chin and raises his head until the two are looking eye to eye.

Mordecai is amazed at the tenderness he sees in the face of this man called Jesus, and he listens intently.

“I know your dream, my son. You were dreaming again this morning…the dream that you will one day be the Messiah. You have dreamed you will ride down the streets of your village in a golden chariot and you will destroy the Roman government. But Mordecai, I am the Messiah and some day soon, I will be slain so I can overcome death for people who trust me!”

Mordecai mulls over what Jesus has said. I don’t understand this man. He speaks in truth, and then He speaks in riddles. But He knows all about me!

Jesus moves and sits beside the boy.

Mordecai feels an arm encircle his shoulders, with a soothing touch that makes the pain in his back go away. He stares full into the face of Jesus and is overwhelmed with the love he sees.

This man knows my every dream for greatness and he loves me. He touched me and I know I will never be the same.

Jesus tightens his arm around Mordecai and pulls the boy to himself.

“Yes, Son. I know your dream and it is a noble wish. But you are not the Messiah. I am! But you and I can feed this multitude if you are willing to say ‘yes’ to the questions I have asked.”

Mordecai is on his feet before Jesus can finish talking. Gone is the desire for glory. He wants to do the will of this man who knows him and loves him with a tenderness such as he has never felt!

He shoves his basket into Jesus’ hands and shouts, “Here, Lord, take my basket and all that is in it!”

Mordecai watches Jesus take fish and loaves from the basket, and hands it to his disciples who pass it on to the people. He stares in amazement as the food overflows the basket. “Wow! Look at that! I never saw anything like that in all my life. That is a miracle!”

Soon the people are fed, and the disciples are gathering up the loaves and fish that remain.

Mordecai trembles with excitement. He grabs Jesus by the arm. “I’ve never seen anything like this in all my life. I don’t know where you’re going from here, but I sure would like to go with you!”

Jesus smiles. “I understand, but this you should know. I am God in the flesh, but I am also God, the Spirit. The basket you brought fish and loaves in is a physical work of art, woven by your earthly father. That basket will pass away. God, your heavenly father, has today woven within your soul a spiritual being. We call it the New Birth. It will last forever!

“Let me remind you of the questions I asked of you. I asked you to give me ownership of the loaves and fish in your basket. Next I asked you to give me all the loaves and fish in your basket, holding back nothing. Then I asked you to give the food now! The need is now! The people are hungry.

“Finally, Mordecai, and most  important of all, you must remember. Your name will never be mentioned as owner or giver of the loaves and fish. Because your answer was affirmative to all the questions I asked, your heavenly father has woven a spiritual basket for you. We say you have been born again.

“Even though I stay here in this body, you will carry me deep in your heart and my love will abide in your heart forever! Now go home to your mother. And bless you, my child.”

Mordecai goes bounding down the mountainside, with his basket filled with loaves and fish swinging from his arm. He is surprised to see the soldier who laid the lash on him the day before, the same soldier who asked Jesus what soldiers should do. He was still seated by the trail.

“Hey, Mordecai,” the soldier shouted. “I’m sorry I mistreated you.”

Mordecai was amazed at the kindness in the soldier’s remarks, and that he himself, for the first time in his life, held no hate for the soldier.

Can it be that my nearness to Jesus has changed my life? he asked himself.

Near the bottom of the mountain, Mordecai looks back. He sees Jesus, standing high on a rock, waving to him. It is the last time for him to see the Master, but he knows he will forever remember Jesus’ healing touch.

Mordecai’s mother is lighting a candle when she hears his voice.

“Singing I go along my way. Praising the Lord, praising the Lord. Singing I go along my way for Jesus has filled my Basket with Love.”

Mordecai bursts into the room. He laughs and weeps while he shows his mother his basket, overflowing with fish and loaves.

“Mother! Today I met Jesus. And Mother, He knows all about me. He knows about father, that he wove this basket. And Mother, you will not believe this. He fed a crowd of thousands of people with my loaves and fish. And He gave me this basket full as a part of what was left over!

“And He touched me, put His arm around me and hugged me. And Mother, He did something to me that made me different. I am not the person I was when I left here this morning.

“I never told you, but I was beaten by a band of soldiers yesterday when I was fishing. That’s why I was getting home late. The pain from their lashing was almost unbearable today, but when Jesus put His arm around me, the pain in my shoulders went away.

“And Mother, something else happened today. One of the soldiers who beat me yesterday was in the crowd. He spoke kindly to me and said he was sorry that had treated me the way they did. I didn’t know soldiers could be kind to anyone.

“Like I said, Mother, I’m in a different world since I met Jesus! He made me into a different person!”

Epilogue

I was once like Mordecai. I had dreams of greatness. But one night, at a little country church, I met the Master face to face…and I have since never been the same.

My life is best described in the words of an unknown poet:

       I had walked life’s path with an easy tread.

       Had followed where comforts and pleasures led,

       When, if by chance, in a quiet place

       I met the Master face to face.

       I had built my castles and reared them high

       Til their spires had pierced the blue of the sky

       I had entered to win in life’s mad race

       When I met my Master face to face

       I met Him and I knew Him and blushed to see

       That His eyes, full of sorrow, were fixed on me

       And I faltered and fell at His feet that day

       While my castles melted and vanished away

       Melted and vanished and in their place I saw

       Naught esle but my Master’s face, and I cried aloud

       Oh, make me mete to follow the marks of your wounded feet

       My thoughts are now for the souls of men

       I lost my life to find it again

       Ere since alone in that lowly place

       My Master and I stood face to face!

© H. Bradford Ramsey Sr./Ramsey House Productions

So, my family moved to Cortez, Colorado a little over 22 years ago. I was in my early 30’s, had grown up in the big city of Houston, Texas. I was accustomed to “big city” amenities and luxuries and conveniences. And here we were, moving to a place I’d never heard of in my life. But…it was in Colorado…and as everyone knows, it’s the one state almost everyone says they want to live some day. And here I was, living here. Barely Colorado, but it was still Colorado.

Today, I read where Cortez has recently been ranked as #8 in the top 10 worst places to live in Colorado. Of course, they are basing it on what the “majority” says makes a place a good place to live. The website that conducted the analysis based their findings on population density, percentage of unemployment, home values, adjusted median income and education…they claimed they “used science to determine which cities in Colorado are the real pits.”

I must admit, right here in front of God and everyone, that I haven’t always loved living here. As I said before, I grew up in one of the largest cities in America and, after marrying, I lived in one of the coolest cities on earth: Nashville, Tennessee. So I came from a spoiled background of variety in eating places, movie theaters, symphonies, concerts, major sporting events, shopping malls and specialty shops. From Cortez, you have to drive no less than 47 miles to get to any kind of variety, limited as that may be.

The article I read quoted the author of the website as saying, “Cortez has a Walmart Supercenter and an airport, but that’s where the excitement level ends. It’s out in the middle of nowhere in southwest Colorado. So even if Cortez residents had disposable incomes, there wouldn’t be much for them to spend their money on. Except weed maybe?” (insert sarcastic laughter here)

So is that truly what makes someplace a good place to live? Cortez does struggle with being in the corner of the state, limited restaurant and entertainment options, lower median income…but a Walmart and an airport is exciting? Really?

The excitement level does NOT end there. For one thing, I am a member of the most exciting church in the Four Corners. Not the only church in town, but my favorite. We have an exciting worship team that rocks it; an exciting ministry for teenagers that is fun and silly and helps shape and lead teenagers to make good adult decisions; an exciting children’s ministry, with leaders that are so fun to be around you’d think they really like working with children (and they really do); an exciting marriage ministry that cares about and values marriage and regularly builds into and strengthens the marriage relationships in our county. Not to mention (but I will), an exciting pastor that loves God and loves people, who brings the Bible to life, who makes coming to church fun, but who also makes learning God’s word meaningful, always giving us ways to apply God’s lessons to our everyday lives, to make us more like Jesus. Loving God. Loving people.

But on a “non-church” note, this isn’t a bad place to live. The weather here can’t be beat. We have four distinct beautiful seasons. We don’t have to worry about any major weather catastrophes. Probably the most threatening danger is fire. Humidity is nice and low. In the winter, when it snows, it only takes a couple days at most for it to melt off the roads and make driving less sketchy. In spring and summer, the wildflowers are breathtaking. And speaking of breathtaking, the sunsets are unrivaled. And in the fall, the changing leaves on the variety of trees is like an amazing oil painting.

On a “non-weather” note, small-town living is nice because it doesn’t really take long to get anywhere, unless you live out of town in the country. But even then, it’s relatively easy to get places you need to go. There’s not a huge variety of restaurants, but the ones we have are excellent. We have a nice newly-remodeled movie theater that shows first-run movies. We have two grocery stores with very friendly employees that know your name. And local banks that take pride in the relationship they have with their customers. And a special coffee shop that loved my father-in-law so much that, when he passed away, they named a coffee after him that is now permanently on the menu.

And the day-trips in this area are amazing. In just a matter of minutes to an hour, you can be in the most beautiful countryside, mountains, rivers, waterfalls, forests, rock formations, Indian ruins. The beauty is endless.

And last but not least, I have some of the greatest friends in this town that I’ve ever had. Some that I’ve known all 22 years and some I’ve only met in the past year. I wouldn’t trade my friends here for anything in the world. The love and support they have shown me and my family when I was sick and literally at death’s door, when my father-in-law passed away suddenly, when my husband was in a bad motorcycle accident, among other things…unparalleled.

All that to say, Cortez, Colorado, isn’t one of the worst places to live in Colorado…it’s one of the best. It just depends on what’s important to you.

(*putting away my soapbox*)

I finally finished reading a book I started back in the fall (if you must know, I’m a freaky slow reader…I deal with it.) It’s by one of my favorite authors and you’d think I’d hurry right through it, but…I’m a freaky slow reader.

Anywaaays…near the end of the book, she brings up the subject of being “enough”…especially when it comes to being creative. Being a creative myself, I struggle with this idea of being “enough”. Not just in my creative dealings, but in life in general.

She quotes the line from the movie Cool Runnings…based on the true story of the first Jamaican bobsled team. John Candy, who played their coach in the movie, had won gold in Olympic bobsledding twenty years earlier but had become a complete loser ever since. The Jamaican team is expressing their desperation to win a medal, to which the coach replies, “If you’re not enough before the gold medal, you won’t be enough with it.”

I know this truth like the back of my hand, but I every time I read or hear it, it’s like it’s brand new to me. I’m like, “Yes, gosh, that’s so true!” “I should remember this.” “Why didn’t I think of that?” And the thing is, I HAVE heard it, it IS true, and I SHOULD remember it. But I don’t. I allow my own doubts to push this truth to the back of the line, when it should be at the head of it from now on.

We’ve all been there though. The times when you have felt like you just didn’t measure up to expectations…from others or yourself. The times you were pretty sure that the points and laughter were directed at you. That time you thought he or she loved you, but they didn’t. The “flashbulb memory” from 20 years ago that still pops up every so often, floating there as if to say, “NOT WOOOORRRTTHHHYYYY.” Something happened that took a major withdrawal from your enough bank.

We may still say things like, “I’d be enough if I could lose weight.” “I’d be enough if I could sing like her.” “I’d be enough if I had more money to buy the things I want.” “I’d be enough if I could just get him to ask me out.” “I’d be enough if I could just read faster!” “I’d be enough if ______.” Fill in the blank with what would make you “enough.”

We can’t live our lives looking toward that next big “whatever” to make us “enough.” We are enough right now…right where we are. No, we may not be as thin as we’d like, or make as much money as we’d like, or be as popular or artistic or musical or _____________ as we’d like…but we. are. enough.  Period. None of those things should have any sway on our happiness or enough-ness.

Conditions, things, people, dollar signs, hair color, scale numbers…nope. They won’t do it for you. They can’t give you the “enough” you desire.

This same author was writing about going through a pretty difficult time at one point in her life. She’d reached a dry spell in her writing. She was feeling empty…like her soul was sick and needed spiritual advice. She needed to feel that she was enough. She decided to talk to the pastor at her son’s school. In a nutshell, he told her, “The world can’t give that to you. But the good news is that by the same token, the world can’t take it away.”

The world can’t make me feel like I’m “enough”…I can only find that through trusting what God says about me and what I know to be true based on His Word. I am desired and I am chased after by the God of the universe. I am accepted. I am made worthy through the blood of Jesus. (Ephesians 1:6; Romans 8:16-17; 1 Corinthians 6:20; Philippians 1:6)

I can’t find my “enough-ness” in any other way. But the good news is, once I get it, the world can’t take it away, either.

“The pose begins when you want to get out of it.”

This was a quote I saw today. The girl who said it was referring specifically to ballet and yoga.

Wow! What a picture! What a great saying! That’s life. That’s the key to changing or becoming or transforming or finally beginning to reach that potential.

Just when it starts to hurt, just when those muscles start to ache, just when you can’t possibly run one more mile, take one more step or stretch one more inch…you’re right where you need to be. You’re at your peak. You’re getting the most out of what you’re doing.

This is true in our physical lives of discipline and exercise and eating right and work and kids and relationships. But this is also so very true in our spiritual lives.

Just when we think we have reached the limit of our patience, our love, our understanding, our service, our generosity, our perseverance…right there is where we need to be. Because Christ never told us that these things would be easy…only worth it. We don’t always practice patience and service and love because it feels good at the time. Sometimes we want to do and be anything but.

But…just like that moment after you release the hard yoga pose, after you finish that race, after you’re done with that hour of exercising, after you’ve taken that hardest of steps…that’s when the feeling comes. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. That’s when the relief and satisfaction that we did good comes.

And after we’ve practiced all the tough things that Christ commanded, we can breathe a deep breath and say, “I did it.”

And one day, after a whole long life of doing those hard things He told us to do, and doing them with a happy heart and a good attitude, guess what? When He sees us, He says, “Good work! You did your job well.” ( matthew 25:23, the message)

And who doesn’t want to hear that?

I saw an interview today with a man by the name of Steve Pemberton. He is currently the Chief Diversity Officer and Vice President of Walgreens. Never heard of him before today.

Steve was born into poverty and then was passed from foster home to foster home to foster home, to families who only fostered for the money, and thus, suffering years of abuse at the hands of “parents” who claimed they wanted to take care of him. He said that most people just didn’t know what to do with a light-skinned African American boy with blue eyes.

As he noted, his saving grace and escape was that he absolutely loved to read. He always had a book with him and read a wide variety of them. He absolutely loved learning. One day, while he was in junior high, he learned the concept of “college.” The lady he was talking to told him this: “Imagine a place where you learn all day long and you never have to go home.” He thought, “I never have to come back here?” (Imagining the joy of not having to be in an unloving, unsupportive, non-committed foster family.)

At that moment, he made that his life goal: to attend college. And that’s what he did.

He now is an author along with his job for the Walgreens corporation. To look at him and his beautiful family (which was another goal of his life) you’d never know that he has been through what he has been through.

Then he made this statement: “No one looks like their story.”

I absolutely love that statement. It’s so very true. We all walk around, looking at each other. Passing each other in the Walmart aisle or at the intersection…or in the church foyer or parking lot. And we glance at each other, many times without having any idea the story that person has lived and is living. I’d venture to say that very few people show their true story outwardly.

Even the homeless man or woman on the street…what is their real story? They may have come from a life of great wealth or, at the least, comfort. Never having to worry about when their next meal would be or what vacation to take. But fate had it’s way with them. They lost everything. Something horrible happened along the way, and they were left destitute.

The bright-eyes cashier at the grocery store smiles, asks you if you found everything you were looking for, smiles a toothy grin and wishes you a blessed day. She looks happy and balanced and content. But what is her real story? Does she have an abusive husband at home? Did she just receive bad health news? Is she barely making ends meet for her children and herself to live?

The man in the chair in front of you at church. The one that wears leather and eye makeup and has tattoos out the wazoo and piercings on just about every body part you can see. The one that looks like he really needs Jesus, because…well, just LOOK at him. But what is his real story? Does he really have a deep, thriving, alive relationship with Christ? Does he walk the streets and visit the jails and share his story with those that need to hear it, because they won’t listen to anyone but him?

I love the picture of the young woman, sitting on a store step in a dark alley, slumped over, leaning on her folded knees, her long hair draped over her head. The caption reads, “Don’t judge her. You don’t know what storm God has asked her to walk through.”

OUCH! We cannot tell just by looking what any other person is going through or has gone through in their life. To look at some people you would never know the life they’ve had. And to look at others, you may assume you know, but you don’t. Find out before you make a judgment. Then after you find out, don’t judge. Their story is not your story. In fact, they may be surprised to hear your story.

Today was a first for me. I took a self-defense class for women, specifically. A 6-hour class. With an instructor who doesn’t believe in breaks (just kidding, Brian, if you’re reading this. Love you ❤ )

It was hard work. It was intense. It was like drinking from a fire hose. It was exhausting. But it was informative, productive, important and extremely vital. Brian, his colleague Kenny, and Brian’s wife Jessica, did a great job of showing us the intensities and details in the techniques of avoiding and getting out of tough situations that we, as women, may, and most probably will, find ourselves in at some point in our lives.

SOOO much was said, but one phrase Brian used, a martial arts training lesson, during one of his demonstrations on how to get out from under an attacker, really stuck out to me and resonated with something I’ve always struggled with. The saying is, “As the head goes, so goes the body.” In other words, if you twist and force your assailant’s head around backwards, his body is going to follow. It’s as simple as that. So, get to twisting and forcing if they’re holding you down.

But let me explain. [….pause….] No, there is too much. Let me sum up. (Any Princess Bride fans?]

All my life, my mind has determined my direction…both good and bad. And if you are honest, you’d say the same thing. Because that’s exactly how it always happens. With everyone. Our bodies don’t do things that our minds don’t tell it to do. And rarely does our mind tell our bodies to do something that it refuses to do. They are directly connected.

So many times, I’ve had goals to do this or that, accomplish this or that, finish this or that…but I never did. Part of my failure was because I didn’t see myself as completing that goal. I talked myself into believing that it would never happen. We all do it. We ALL do it. We all DO it. Our success and/or failure is directly connected to what we allow our minds to think. But the truth is, if we are going to do anything, we have to do it in our mind…our head…first.

– If you want to start a new endeavor, then you have to start it in your mind first.

– If you want to lose 50 pounds, lose it in your mind first.

– If you want to change a sucky situation, change it in your mind first.

– If you want to go back to school and get a Master’s degree, graduate in your mind first.

……then….work your booty off until the rest of you catches up to your mind.

This isn’t necessarily the “power of positive thinking”…it’s about beginning with the end in mind. It isn’t necessarily about “visualization”…it’s about making the decision to do something great and anchoring it in your mind…in your thoughts. That way, when times get tough (and they will)…and people say you can’t do it (and they will)…and you feel like giving up (and you will)…you will have already decided to push past all of that to reach your goals.

Our minds are so very incredibly, amazingly, mind-blowingly powerful. All the success and joy and finalization starts in your head. But remember this: all the failure and heartache and giving up ALSO starts in your head. You and I have to decide what the outcome is going to be. We can’t create these amazing goals and successes and wins..and then “imagine” and “think about” all the failure and loss. Because “as the head goes, so goes the body.” And if something is twisting and forcing your head backwards, your body is going to follow…your actions are going to follow…your results, or lack thereof, are going to follow. Decide ahead of time where you want to go, and then get there. You can do it!

And then …don’t ever give up (another lesson from today.) Don’t. Ever. Give. Up.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“…be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think.” (Romans 12:2 TLB)

“…take captive every thought and make it obedient…” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” {Philippians 4:8 NIV) …my favorite Bible verse….

Think about it……

This is a very off-the-cuff blog entry. I’m literally typing it as I think about it. So if it’s haphazard and doesn’t make sense, that’s why lol

David and I are sitting here watching The Voice, one of our favorite shows of all times. (As a footnote, I’m sooooo glad that Pharrell stayed and that my girl Christina is back.)

We listened to a young girl earlier who has two deaf parents and is partially deaf herself. She can’t hear mid-range sounds. She said that when she listens to music, she really can’t hear the singers, but has no trouble hearing the music. This isn’t going to be an analysis of her performance, although I must say that it was simply precious and I loved it so much…and am so glad that she turned two chairs and chose Christina as her coach.

After she picked her coach of choice, they showed the shot of her parents backstage and, as true to form for deaf people, they were “applauding” her by shaking their hands in the air. That’s the sign for applause. I learned that years ago and it was reinforced when I got to visit a deaf school in Mexico a couple of years ago. The kids were simply amazing and taught us “hearing folk” several signs. When they worship, at the end of the songs, they would shake their hands in the air. It’s mesmerizing to see this happen…the kids “applauding” but there’s almost total silence.

When we saw the parents applauding for their daughter on The Voice, and then passionately expressing their love and support and and excitement afterwards, when she came backstage, David and I both began to cry. And I told him, “I think sometimes, we are the disadvantaged ones.”

Sometimes I feel like those of us who are “normal”, who have all our senses and abilities and strengths are missing out…that we are the disadvantaged/disabled ones. These deaf parents, along with many other deaf people I have known in my life, have to depend double on their other senses…they have to develop those senses to a keener degree than the rest of us do. The same with those who are blind…their hearing ability  increases. Their touch is heightened. You get the picture.

We “normals” tend to take our senses for granted. We don’t appreciate the abilities we have. We take for granted that we can see the sunsets, hear the finest nuances of classical music, see our kids playing in the snow, watch and hear The Voice, shovel snow, drive to work, walk without a cane or a wheelchair, swallow a sip of water, talk on the phone. Name it…there are those somewhere who can’t do it.

I believe that we are disadvantaged by having all our senses. I feel like there’s a assumption that we don’t have to try too hard or excel at anything in particular because we can do anything we want…averagely. We don’t appreciate our abilities.

I find, in most “disadvantaged” people, that there is an increased passion in the abilities that they DO have. And excellence in developing the abilities that they HAVEN’T lost. And I think it would do us all good to thank God for what we have, and use them to the very best of the abilities He has given us.

That’s all I have to say about that 🙂